A Little Laughter Goes a Long Way!
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Things You’d Love to Say to the Public But Can’t…
- This isn’t a Comm Center… it’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- Does your train of thought have a caboose?
- I’m okay because the voices tell me so.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
- Sergeant, can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 3?
- And which one of the Seven Dwarfs are you?
- I don’t have an attitude problem. You have perception problem.
- I’d explain it to you, but I’m afraid your brain would explode.
How to Tell if You’re a Dispatcher
(with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)
You might be a dispatcher if…
- You answer your home phone “9-1-1, where is your emergency?”
- You consider coffee an indispensable work tool.
- You have the bladder capacity of a small, third world army.
- You have spent time explaining to a police officer the difference between a dispatcher and personal assistant.
- You live in fear of a full moon.
- You believe that the annual mandatory training classes are purposely scheduled on your day(s) off.
- You spend more time discussing clothing color and description than
- Tommy Hilfiger and Calvin Klein.
- You have always wanted to meet the guys named “My Babies Daddy” and “Some Dude.”
- You find yourself talking to your friends and family in codes.
Lovingly Lifted from Under the Headset by Richard Behr