Psychological Services for Firefighters
I offer individual therapy for fire service personnel of all ranks who are struggling with the demands of two families. If you are looking for a therapist who ‘doesn’t just sit there’; if empathy and compassion feel like pity to you, my approach will be refreshing. I am direct, funny, and I don’t like what critical incident stress has done to your life. If you want to be at peace with your own performance regardless of the outcome of the call and are ready to put the past in the past, let’s schedule three visits to see if we are a good fit.
At first, nothing compared to the adrenaline rush when the tones went off. Work was so much fun; the money was good, the department was great – except for that one guy. Being tired at the end of a tour was a sign of productivity. After a while, things changed. Friends were promoted and didn’t socialize after work anymore.
Were you expecting so many medical calls and so few fires? After a while that one guy bid for your station and your shift. Now you are stuck.
Maybe you were injured and had to stay off work for a few weeks. Was that when the depression got worse? People don’t realize it at the time, but the physical aspects of the job, the training and workouts give your body a nice supply of dopamine. When that suddenly stops due to an injury your mood can change. Now you know you need more coping tools than only exercise, but what exactly?
After a while, there was a hook up then a breakup. Was that when the drinking got worse?
Now you are tired whenever you wake up. The first day off after a tour seems completely wasted as your body recovers. The expectations from your family or friends seem unreasonable to you as you try to recharge your empty battery.
The fire triangle
Psychological well-being can be thought of as a triangle. If one thing such as behavior, thoughts or the physical body changes, psychological well being will also change.
Between work and home, you never feel good enough.
No, you aren’t disappointing everyone even if it might feel that way.
People say they would, ‘follow you into any fire’ but the ones you live with don’t look up when you walk in the door. It’s not too late to change.
If you are trying to cope with alcohol or energy drinks, video games, porn or dating sites, gambling or shopping you know deep down that is only making things worse.
There is another way.
If you find yourself at the bottom of a hole, seeing no light or hope in the future –
stop digging.
Call for a 15-minute consultation and let’s schedule 1-3 visits to see if we can figure this out. 510-797-4911
When dealing with radioactive material or hazardous waste, what three things do you keep in mind?
TIME, DISTANCE, & SHIELD
1) Time
“I’ve been doing this job for years and I’ve never seen a crash this bad.”
“I’ve handled lots of dead bodies, why this call? Why now?”
“The mandatory overtime was supposed to be temporary.”
“Two years ago, I thought I won the lottery when I got hired, If I can’t’ get past this incident I’ll never make it.”
“I’ll never forget the first ____. It’s like it happened yesterday even though it was years ago.”
When I listen to first responders in therapy I try to gauge how long the current problem has been going on, what started it or made things worse? When I listen, I also listen for strengths. What healthy habits has the person had for years? What relationships are still functioning? How has the first responder handled difficulties in the past?
From there we make a plan in therapy, according to your priorities. Which topic we address each week is up to you.
2) Distance
Have you responded to a TC only to find someone you knew inside the vehicle? That is too close. Did you provide mutual aid to a department after a line of duty death, or did you respond to one of your own? The difference is distance. I help firefighters create some distance between them and the incidents that got inside the PPE.
Is it hard to get close to the people you love? Have you lost the connection to the people who love you? I help firefighters repair and reconnect when the distance has become too great.
3) Shield
Exercising on a regular basis, speaking to peer support members and attending critical incident stress debriefing can be healthy, helpful ways to shield yourself from the stress of the job.
Another option is to talk to a psychologist like me and get a different perspective on relationships, the future or career. I listen for protective factors, not only risk factors.
A Path Toward Change
Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Do you want to stop a situation from becoming any worse? Is this the last time you want to feel this badly? Please consider making an appointment with me so that we can start to change what you want to change. It doesn’t have to get worse. If you have never been in therapy before or have not ever spoken with a counselor, I suggest 3 visits to see if we are a good fit.
Helpful Videos
Firefighters
Difference between Psychologist and Psychiatrist
Concern
One Approach to EMDR
EMDR Certified
Reducing the Stigma of Psychiatric Medications
Over the years, my first responder patients tended to ask me the same questions about medications, which I cannot answer because I am not a psychiatrist and didn’t go to medical school. So I found a psychiatrist who works with first responders in California and we created a Q&A video with these common questions.
Helpful Books
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
By Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD with Michael Spring
Publisher HarperCollins, New York NY, 292 pages, Copyright 1996
Applying Occupational Psychology to the Fire Service: Emotion, Risk and Decision-Making
Edited By Thomas Rhys Evans and Gail Steptoe-Warren
Publisher Palgrave Macmillan, 321 pages, Copyright 2019
Damaged: A First Responder’s Experiences Handling Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
By James Meuer
Publisher WestBow Press, 64 pages, Copyright 2013
Fire Service Psychology: A Comprehensive Approach to Enhancing Firefighter Health, Safety, and Longevity
By Kristen Wheldon
Publisher Springer, 351 pages, Copyright 2025
Flash Point: A Firefighter’s Journey Through PTSD
By Christy Warren
Publisher She Writes Press, 274 pages, Copyright 2023
Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness
By Dr. Fred Luskin
Publisher HarperOne, 220 pages, Copyright 2002
I Can’t Save You and I Don’t Want to Die Trying: American Fire Culture
By Dr. Burton A. Clark, EFO
Publisher Premium Press America, 312 pages, Copyright 2024
I Love a Firefighter: What the Family Needs to Know, Second Edition
By Ellen Kirschman, PhD
Publisher The Guilford Press, 336 pages, Copyright 2021
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Firefighters: The Calls That Stick with You
By Paul J. Antonellis, Jr., MA, CEAP, CAS, and Shannon Gwin Mitchell, PhD
Publisher Chevron, 138 pages, Copyright 2005
Scenes of Compassion: A Responder’s Guide for Dealing with Emergency Scene Emotional Crisis, Second Edition
By Timothy W. Dietz, MA
Publisher Behavioral Health Resources, 110 pages, Copyright 2009
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
By Gary Chapman
Publisher Northfield Publishing, 203 pages, Copyright 2004
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms
By Mary Beth Williams, PhD, LCSW, CTS., and Soili Poijula, PhD
Publisher New Harbinger Publications Inc., 237 pages, Copyright 2002
The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good for You, and How to Get Good at it
By Kelly McGonical, PhD
Publisher Avery, 279 pages, Copyright 2016
When Psychological Problems Mask Medical Disorders: A Guide for Psychotherapists, Second Edition
By James Morrison
Publisher The Guilford Press, 247 pages, Copyright 2015
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams
By Matthew Walker, PhD
Publisher Scribner, 360 pages, Copyright 2017
Working Fire: The Making of an Accidental Fireman
By Zach Unger
Publisher The Penguin Press, 262 pages, Copyright 2004
Helpful Links
- First Responder Support Group Meetings
- San Mateo County CISM Team
- How to find the right mental health trauma specialist
- The Fire Service Psychology Association Atlanta Conference
- FRSN - First Responder Support Network. Resources page
- CFCA - California Fire Chaplain Association
Posts
- SJFD Women's Bootcamp
- FSPA - Fire Service Psychology Association. Proud member since 2018